I walked into the room.
A young woman lay in a bed recovering from a caesarean section. Two infant cots were parked beside the
bed. Healthy twin baby boys had been
delivered the day before.
They both had a poor suck from the start so the little ones
had small tubes inserted in their stomachs to help with feeding. That is what I was doing in the room. As a midwife I was there to help with the
feeds.
I could sense the new mother was nervous and unsure of
herself. I started some small talk in an
attempt to help her feel more comfortable.
We honestly didn't have much in common with each other and I was
struggling for something to say. Then
seemingly out of nowhere she piped up with a conversation starter - the litmus
test question for midwives, "So have ya got little ones at home?"
My heart sank. Despite
being asked the same question many times before I still had not come up with a
short enough or 'right' enough answer.
So I replied honestly, "No, not yet unfortunately".
The young mum proceeded to offer commiserations and even
some suggestions. "Ya just have to
not worry about it. When I stopped
thinking about wanting to get pregnant, it just happened ya know..."
So much wisdom from a 19 year old I thought.
A great man once
called irony 'that hard crust on the bread of adversity'. If only I had a brumby's hard crusty loaf on
hand to throw at my wise friend.
Infertility can feel so personal and so, so unfair. As a midwife the pain sometimes feels so much
more acute and the challenge so ironic.
'Her body works like it should, why doesn't mine?'.
But, in the end we all have holes and gaps in our lives we
wish were full. We ALL experience
crusty irony but some of us (read: me) are so much more brittle. Tests and challenges by their very nature are
unfair - but in the words of my 2nd choice husband Mike Rosenberg, "... WE
CARRY ON".
Enjoy the music...